'Who asked YOU?'

In this week's Sports Illustrated, columnist Rick Reilly offers some advice for Delmon Young, the Devil Rays prospect who registered his indignation over being called out on strikes in a minor league affair by throwing his tossing his bat, which hit the umpire.
"Regretlessly Yours" follows a mad-lib, fill-in-the-blank form for Young and his boorish brethren, fulfilling the obligation of apologizing without the actual sincerity.

As SI baseball writer Tom Verducci put it:

The disgraceful episode apparently wasn't so much as a wake-up call for Young. Instead of giving an immediate, on-camera apology that night, he hid behind a prepared statement the next day. Quick accountability would have been a good place for Young to start rebuilding his image.

Keith Hernandez could also find the apolo-form helpful, writes Reilly. The Mets broadcaster objected to the presence of the San Diego Padres' female massage therapist in the dugout with a "woman's place is in the kitchen" mal mot. His attempt to lighten the momement by saying how much he loves "the gals" probably didn't help. Washington Post sports columnist Tony Kornhesier was only one pundit to comment on Kaveman Keith.